Discipline
by Roving Otter
Summary: When Lee has a dangerously high fever and refuses to stop training, Gai isn't sure what to do. For Lee's sake, Gai decides to start getting tougher with his favorite student...but his actions have consequences he never could have anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

Though it pained Lee to say or even think anything bad about his beloved sensei, he had to acknowledge that Gai was probably the worst cook he'd ever met. Most of his dishes resembled something that had been found dead on the road, run through a meat grinder a few times, then mixed with gravel and allowed to harden in the sun. Lee had no idea how Gai-sensei had managed to survive on his own cooking for so long.

A few weeks ago, Lee had moved out of his own tiny, drafty apartment and into his teacher's much larger one. Since then, he had taken over most of the cooking duties, saying it was because he wanted to repay Gai for his generosity. Lee wasn't a spectacular cook himself, but he could make basic, wholesome dishes, and he was slowly learning to be more creative.

Humming, Lee added more curry powder to the chicken-and-vegetable mix simmering in the pan. He stirred it around with a spatula, making sure all the pieces were evenly coated with the reddish spice.

Lee liked cooking for Gai. Gai had done so much for him. It felt good to repay him in some small way.

A tickle in his throat distracted him, and he coughed into one elbow, aiming it away from the food. That tickle had been coming and going for most of the day, and there was a slight ache in his head as well. He'd been trying to ignore it.

He scooped some rice and curry onto the plate, then called, "Gai-sensei, dinner is ready!"

Gai emerged from his study, stretching his arms toward the ceiling. He'd probably been doing paperwork, detailing his latest mission—something all Jounin had to deal with, but none of them liked. As he entered the kitchen, he paused, sniffing the air. A smile spread across his face. "That smells wonderful, Lee. What is it?"

"Chicken curry with carrots and rice." Lee had already set the table. Now, he pulled out a chair for his sensei, and Gai sat.

Lee sat across from him and watched as Gai lifted a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and popped it into his mouth. His eyes rolled back, and a soft, delighted moan escaped his throat. "Fiery!"

"It is too hot?" Lee asked, anxious.

"Not at all! I can taste the effort and passion you put into this. I don't know what spices you added this time, but it's heavenly." Gai beamed and gave him a thumbs-up. "You're blossoming into a very gifted cook!"

A flush of pleasure spread through Lee's cheeks, and warmth suffused his chest. Neji had once accused Lee of being addicted to Gai's praise. Lee couldn't really tell him he was wrong. "Thank you, Gai-sensei," Lee said, grinning so wide his face hurt. If he'd had a tail, it would have been wagging furiously.

Another tickle in Lee's throat made him pause, a bite of chicken halfway to his mouth. He set his chopsticks down and muffled a fit of coughing against his arm.

"Lee? Are you all right?"

"I am fine, Gai-sensei." He smiled, his eyes watery. "I have a little frog in my throat today, that is all."

"Hmm." Gai stroked his smooth-shaven jaw. "There _is_ a bug going around. Maybe you'd better take it easy tonight."

"It is nothing, really. I—" He muffled another fit of coughing in the crook of his elbow. When it ended, his head was throbbing.

Gai rose to his feet, walked up to Lee and lay a hand against his forehead. "You're a little warm."

"I have been in front of the stove. Really, Gai-sensei, I feel fine!" He smiled dazedly. "I have never felt more energetic or youthful. I could wrestle a mountain or climb the tallest bear."

Gai frowned and gently placed his forefingers on either side of Lee's neck, just below his ears. Lee winced as he pressed against something tender. "Your lymph nodes are a little swollen, too."

"Really? I, um…" Lee ducked his head, embarrassed. "I do not know what those are."

"Glands in your neck. They filter the bad stuff out of your system. When they swell up, it means your body is fighting something."

"Oh."

"I think you ought to go right to bed after dinner. Rest up. Just in case."

After dinner, Lee started to gather up the dishes and carry them to the sink, but Gai took the stack from him. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

"I want to help," Lee protested.

"You do. You help me a great deal." Gai set the dishes in the sink. "But right now, you need to rest."

Lee opened his mouth to protest, but a look from Gai stopped him. He sighed and bowed his head. "Yes, Gai-sensei."

Gai lay a hand on Lee's head and ruffled his hair, and Lee smiled, a light flush rising into his cheeks. Reluctantly, he went to his bedroom and lay down. A few minutes later, however, he got out of bed and started doing stretches. He couldn't just laze around and do nothing. Even if Gai-sensei had told him to rest, he hated being idle. As he jogged in place, he listened to the sound of running water from the kitchen.

Typically, Lee did most of the dishes as well as the cooking…not because Gai expected him to, but because Gai-sensei had given him the first real home he'd ever known, and whenever Lee thought about that fact, his heart swelled with gratitude and love and he burned with the desire to make himself useful.

He knew that the other Genin called him a teacher's pet and snickered at his unusually close bond with Gai-sensei. He knew, too, that there were certain rumors about them circulating the village. But Lee did not care. He had been alone for most of his childhood—an orphan with no friends, a hopeless case who was unable to do anything right, or so the world seemed to think. Gai had rescued him from that lonely hell. He'd given Lee the strength to continue living. His peers couldn't possibly understand what that meant to him.

Lee dropped to the floor and started doing pushups. Another fit of coughing interrupted him, and he winced. Maybe he ought to rest after all. Reluctantly, he crawled into bed and pulled the covers over himself.

* * *

The next morning, Lee woke with a throbbing headache and a scratchy throat. Sweat soaked his skin and sheets, yet he couldn't stop shivering. He groaned softly, climbed out of bed and tried to stand, but a wave of dizziness pushed him to his knees.

Why did he feel so weak?

Lee rubbed his sore throat. He waited until the dizziness subsided, then stood again, swaying, and stumbled into the bathroom to shower.

"I will be fine," he muttered to himself as he turned on the water. He wasn't _that _sick. Probably just a cold.

Lee washed, dried himself off and pulled on his jumpsuit, still shaking uncontrollably. _Push through it, _he thought, and steeled himself. If he wanted to be a great ninja, he couldn't afford to slack off. He was not going to miss a day of training over something like this!

He walked into the kitchen, one hand pressed to his queasy stomach, and spotted a note on the refrigerator: _Rise and shine, Lee! I hope you slept well. I'm out running my morning laps. Sorry for leaving you behind, but it seemed you weren't feeling well last night, so I decided to let you sleep in. I'll meet you at the training field at 9:00. Remember to eat a good breakfast and have a YOUTHFUL MORNING!_

Lee poured himself a bowl of cold cereal. He didn't have the stomach for anything more substantial, and his insides resisted every bite…but Gai had drilled into him time and again that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, so he forced himself to finish it. Afterward he washed out his bowl, splashed some cold water on his face to banish the lingering fuzziness in his head, and left the apartment.

* * *

"Lee, are you sure you're okay?" Tenten stared at Lee, who stood in the training field across from her and Neji, swaying on his feet. His eyes were glazed, his face flushed and sweat-damp, his breathing labored.

Lee gave her a faint smile. "I am just fine."

"You really don't look fine. Maybe you should go home."

"I am not going to waste the day lying in bed! I…I…" He moaned and fell to the grass, where he lay motionless, facedown.

"Lee?"

Another faint moan was the only response.

"Jeez," said Tenten. "He's really sick."

Neji nudged Lee's motionless form with a toe. No response. "Any sane person would have stayed in bed."

"This could be serious," said Tenten. "Maybe we should take him to the hospital."

At that moment, she heard approaching footsteps and looked up to see Gai walking toward them across the field. He raised one hand to them in a wave…then he caught sight of Lee, and the smile fell away from his face. _"Lee!"_ He charged across the field, dropped to his knees next to his student's motionless form, and rolled Lee onto his back. "What in the world…" He checked Lee's pulse, then looked up at Neji. "Did you knock him out?"

Neji spread his arms. "Why do you instantly assume it's my fault?"

"Well, you are his rival. I know it's easy to get carried away in the heat of sparring."

Neji rolled his eyes. "You know Lee is far more invested in the whole 'rival' thing than I am. I didn't do anything. He just collapsed."

"But why?"

"He has the flu."

"A really bad one, from the looks of it," said Tenten.

Gai patted Lee's flushed cheek. "Lee. Lee, can you hear me?"

Lee's eyes opened, and he blinked. "Gai-sensei…" He tried to smile, but just then, a coughing fit seized him. He doubled over, muffling his coughs against one fist. By the time he'd finished, his face was red, his eyes watering.

Gai stood, held up a finger and announced, "You're ill!"

"Well, obviously," said Neji.

"We need to get you home, my dear student."

"I can train," Lee murmured.

Tenten crossed her arms over her chest. "You can barely stand up. There's no shame in taking a sick day if you really need it, you know. I stayed home sick just last week, remember?"

"It is different for me. I have to work harder than anyone else if I want to be strong. I can overcome this." He tried to stand, and his knees buckled under him.

Gai caught him. "I'd better take you back to the apartment."

"But I…I…" Lee slumped against Gai, head bowed, arms hanging limply. He'd passed out again.

"Poor guy," said Tenten. "He's in bad shape."

Gai lifted Lee into his arms. "Never fear, he'll be back to normal soon. Lee is a hardworking person. No doubt his antibodies are also hardworking. No virus can stand up to the will of fire for long."

Neji opened his mouth as if to say something, then merely sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He made little shooing motions with one hand. "Go."

"I'll be back soon!" Gai bounded away, Lee in his arms.

* * *

Lee woke and opened his eyes a crack. The sunlight dazzled him, and he blinked, disoriented. He could feel himself moving, could hear footsteps, but his own feet weren't touching the ground. After a moment, he put the pieces together; someone was carrying him. His eyes flickered fully open. "Gai-sensei?" he murmured. He tried to lift his head, but a wave of dizziness rolled through him, and he went limp.

"Relax," said Gai. "I've got you. Just rest."

Lee nodded and rested his head against Gai's broad chest. He closed his eyes and listened to his sensei's heartbeat.

Gai carried him to their apartment and into Lee's room. He lay him gently in his bed and tucked the covers around him, then pressed one hand to Lee's cheek. His broad palm felt pleasantly cool against Lee's hot skin. "You're burning up."

"I have been exerting myself. That is all. I feel fine." That wasn't really true, he supposed, but he didn't want Gai to think he was weak. "Really. I never get sick. I have a very good immune system."

"Even the strongest ninjas get sick once in awhile. Wait here." He went into the bathroom, found a thermometer and rinsed it off, then returned to the bedroom. "I'm going to take your temperature. Say ahh."

"Ahh."

A minute later, Gai slid the thermometer out from under Lee's tongue and looked at it. He raised his eyebrows. "Almost a hundred and three. That's pretty high. You really shouldn't be out of bed when you're this sick."

"I am all right…really…I just…"

"No excuses." He held up a finger. "You're staying in bed until you've recovered. Understood?"

"Yes, Gai-sensei." Lee felt a flutter of pleasure in his stomach. He couldn't have said why, but sometimes he liked it when Gai was strict with him. "If you think that is best."

Gai's face softened into a smile. "Good." He lay one large hand on his student's head and smoothed his hair back from his feverish brow. Lee closed his eyes, savoring the gentle pressure on his forehead. "Wait here. I'll get you something to drink."

"I am not sure I could keep anything down right now. My stomach is very sore."

"You've been sweating a lot. You're probably dehydrated. You need water." Gai left the room and returned a moment later with a bowl of chipped ice. "If your stomach is still sensitive, this might be easier for you. Open your mouth." Lee did, and Gai placed an ice chip inside. He set the bowl on the bedside table.

As Lee sucked the ice chip, letting it melt slowly on his tongue, Gai went into the kitchen again. He returned with a cool damp washcloth, which he draped over Lee's brow. "Do you need anything else?"

Lee shook his head. "I am fine. You should go train with Neji and Tenten. They are waiting for you."

Gai hesitated. "If you're really not feeling well, I don't want to leave you alone."

Lee smiled. "Do not worry about me. I am strong."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It is just a flu, after all."

"I'll see you tonight, then." Gai left the room, easing the door shut behind him.

Lee closed his eyes.

He didn't get sick often. He'd had the flu only once before, that he could recall. Back then, there hadn't been anyone to take care of him. He remembered staggering into the Academy one morning, weak and dizzy, only to be sent back home when he collapsed during physical training. He'd spent the next few days alone in his tiny one-room apartment—the sort that most of Konoha's war-orphans ended up in when they grew too old for the orphanage—shivering and sweating beneath his thin covers, almost too weak to stand, and scared because he felt like he was dying and there was no one around to tell him otherwise.

Just knowing there was someone who cared made a difference. Even if Gai wasn't here right now, knowing that he _would _have stayed if Lee had asked him—stayed and taken care of him all day—made him feel better.

* * *

Lee spent most of the day and night sleeping. He woke only briefly in the evening, when Gai returned. He heard the creak of floorboards and opened his eyes.

"Are you awake, Lee?" Gai asked quietly.

"Mm."

The room was still dark; he hadn't turned on the light, but Lee could feel Gai leaning closer. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Sleepy."

"Sorry. Did I wake you?"

"That is all right." Lee smiled, even knowing Gai probably couldn't see it in the dim light.

A gentle hand smoothed back his hair and rested against his brow. "I think your fever's gone down a little. Did you have anything to eat or drink while I was gone?"

"Just a few more ice chips. My stomach still hurts."

"Do you think you could keep down some broth?"

"I will try."

"Wait here." Gai left and returned shortly after with a bowl of steaming broth. Lee was only able to eat a few spoonfuls. Afterward, Gai coaxed him into drinking some water, then he drifted off again with his sensei's hand resting on his forehead, a warm, comforting pressure.

* * *

He woke the next morning feeling a little better. His head and throat still hurt, but he was able to sit up without getting dizzy or sick to his stomach. Gai had gone back to his own room, but he'd left a bell on the nightstand, presumably for Lee to ring in case he needed anything.

Lee glanced at the clock. It was still early. Gai-sensei was probably not awake yet. Slowly, he climbed to the floor and started doing the warm-up stretches for his morning workout.

Lee felt a twinge of guilt, knowing he was disobeying his sensei. Gai had told him to stay in bed until he was fully recovered. But wasn't Gai also the one who'd told him that effort could make him strong? He'd worked hard to get this far; he didn't want to start falling behind now.

Gai walked in when Lee was in the middle of a pushup. Lee froze.

"Lee." Gai's voice held a note of gentle reproach.

Lee gulped and scrambled back into bed. "Gai-sensei. I did not think you were awake."

Gai approached the bed and looked down at Lee. His eyes held a complex mixture of exasperation, tenderness, pride and disapproval. "Didn't I tell you to stay in bed?"

"Yes, Sensei," Lee murmured.

Gai sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "You work very hard, and I'm proud of that fact. But there _are _times when you need to restrain your youthful enthusiasm and take it easy. This is one of those times."

"Yes, Sensei."

"If I find you out of bed again, for any reason other than needing the bathroom, I'm going to be displeased."

"But…"

"No buts. Rest. That's an order."

Lee saluted. "Yes, Gai-sensei! I am sorry for disobeying you."

Gai's gaze softened, and he smiled. "It's all right. I'll get you some breakfast. Is there anything you want?"

"Just porridge. Nothing too heavy. I do not want to upset my stomach."

"Porridge it is."

* * *

Gai brought Lee his breakfast, then left the apartment to train with Neji and Tenten. Lee ate, his back propped against a stack of pillows, then set the empty bowl aside. He leaned back and gazed out the window, wishing desperately that he was out training with his teammates and sensei. He hated being stuck in bed. If he could just do a few sit-ups! Or maybe jog in place for a little while. Gai would never know…

Lee pushed the thought away at once. He had made a promise to his sensei. He sighed, settled into bed and resigned himself to a day of leisure.

As the hours dragged on, though, he grew more and more restless. He shifted around in bed, watching the clock. Exhausted though he was, he wasn't tired enough to sleep, and when he tried to read, his headache worsened. There was nothing to do except stare into space. It was maddening.

But he'd made a promise. He didn't want to make Gai angry.

Come to think of it, he'd never seen his sensei angry—not really, truly angry. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like. How would he react if one of his students ever really pushed him over the edge?

But of course, Lee would never push him over the edge.

Of course.

The minutes ticked by. He bit his wrist, staring at the clock. Then, finally, he climbed out of bed—ignoring the dizziness that washed over him—and lowered himself to the floor. Just a few minutes of exercise, he told himself. He'd be finished long before Gai-sensei returned.

-To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi snapped his fingers in front of Gai's face. "Hello?"

"Eh?" Gai blinked.

"You've been staring blankly into space for the past minute and a half."

"Ah. Sorry." Gai looked down at his bowl of ramen and swished the noodles around with his chopsticks. "My mind was wandering."

He'd spent most of the day teaching Neji and Tenten the fundamentals of Summoning Jutsu. Since Lee wasn't around, it had seemed like a good chance to practice Ninjutsu with them. On the way home, he'd run into Kakashi, who'd invited him out for ramen. He'd intended to go straight home to Lee, but an invitation from Kakashi was unusual. He hated to refuse.

Kakashi picked up his bowl. He turned his head aside, pulled down his mask with one finger and drained the bowl with a slurp, then replaced his mask. Somehow he always seemed to make the movements look so casual, while still hiding his face. "Worried about Lee?"

"A bit."

"He's a tough little guy. You've said so yourself. A flu won't do him in."

"I know. It's just that he can't seem to stay still, even when it's plainly in his best interest. I normally encourage his efforts, but with such a high fever, too much exertion can be dangerous."

"So order him to stay in bed."

"That's what I thought. But earlier, I specifically forbade him to get out of bed, and he did it anyway. Of course, he's normally very obedient—almost to a fault—but now and then…"

Kakashi shrugged. "Students act up. Even the good ones. If you want my advice, you just need to discipline him once in awhile."

"But I do."

"You give him a love-tap, then you hug him and tell him that mistakes are a normal part of youth and that he's your most favorite student in the whole wide world. That's not much of a deterrent."

A flush rose into Gai's cheeks. He wanted to protest that those "love taps" often sent Lee flying across the room…but of course, he and Lee traded harder blows than that when they were sparring. Taijutsu practitioners were accustomed to taking punches. "Even if you're right, what else _can _I do? I'm not going to beat him senseless."

"You don't have to. Just remind him that you're still his superior and that disobeying your orders is serious business. You know, I'm one of the few people who's seen you when you're truly pissed off, and let me tell you—you can be _really _fucking scary when you need to be."

"But I don't want to scare my students. I love them. And when Lee looks at me with those great big eyes, I can't stay mad at him for anything."

Kakashi sighed. "See, this is your problem. No matter how much he admires you, on some level he knows that he can melt you into a puddle with one look. You have to show him that Puppy Eyes Jutsu doesn't always work."

"What should I do, then? I want him to rest—just until his fever is gone, at least—but I know he hates being idle."

"Well, there you go." At Gai's blank look, Kakashi said, "If he hates having to sit still, then immobilizing him for awhile is the ideal punishment. You'll be administering some discipline and making sure he gets his rest at the same time."

"Immobilize him? How? I mean…you aren't suggesting that I tie him up, are you?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Whatever works."

Gai stared at Kakashi's one visible eye for a long moment before realizing he was serious. "I couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"I just couldn't! Really, Kakashi. Tie him up? It seems so…barbaric."

"It might seem harsh, but in the end, it's for his own good, isn't it? You said yourself, he won't rest even when he's sick or injured. That's going to hurt him more in the long run. His body takes a lot of abuse as it is, what with the constant training and sparring. If he doesn't learn some restraint, he could end up killing himself."

Gai sighed. Maybe Kakashi was right. Maybe he needed to start getting stricter with Lee. "Thank you, Kakashi."

"Don't mention it."

"I'd better go check on him. Er…how much do I owe?"

"Don't worry. I've got it."

"Are you sure?"

The corner of his visible eye crinkled in a smile. "Well, I invited you, after all. Just consider this a thank you for saving my ass during the last mission." Kakashi lifted one hand in a wave. "See you later."

* * *

Gai entered the apartment and headed toward Lee's room. He walked quietly, so the floorboards wouldn't betray him with a creak.

He opened Lee's bedroom door a crack and peered in. Lee was on the floor, doing sit-ups. "Five hundred and seven, five hundred and eight…" He paused, panting as sweat rolled down his face. "Five hundred and nine…" He doubled over with a fit of coughing, then resumed, trembling with exhaustion. "Five hundred and ten…"

Gai turned away, fists clenched. Kakashi's words echoed in his head: _If he doesn't learn some restraint, he could end up killing himself. _It was only a flu this time, but if Lee was ever seriously ill, his refusal to rest _could _endanger his life.

Gai steeled himself, took a deep breath and opened the door. He placed his hands on his hips. "Lee!"

Lee froze and looked up. Guilt flashed across his face. "Gai-sensei! I—I did not hear you come in."

"What did I tell you about getting out of bed?" Gai hated the cold tone in his own voice, but he was determined to remain firm this time. For Lee's sake.

Lee gulped and stood, shoulders tense. "I am sorry."

Gai hesitated. Lee looked so repentant, so sheepish, it was hard to be upset with him. He hardened his resolve. "Sorry isn't good enough. Twice I gave you a direct order, and twice you've disobeyed me. I'm disappointed in you. Very disappointed."

Lee's eyes widened, and he flinched back as if he'd been slapped. "Gai-sensei…"

"Do you think you can disregard my orders whenever you please?"

"N-no!"

"Then what were you doing out of bed?"

"I…" Lee swallowed, tears glistening at the corners of his eyes. "I just wanted to train a little. I will not do it again, I swear. Please do not be angry."

Gai felt his heart crumbling to bits, felt himself drowning in those wide, moist dark eyes. He wanted to hug Lee and tell him that all was forgiven. He pushed his feelings aside. When he spoke, his voice was flat and emotionless. "What am I to do with you, Lee?"

Lee took a shaky breath, squared his shoulders and blinked his tears away. Then he went to his knees, planted his hands on the floor and bowed until his forehead touched the floorboards. "Sensei, I am deeply ashamed. I can offer no excuses for my behavior. Please punish me severely. Do not hold back. I can endure it."

Gai breathed in slowly through his nose. For a moment, he said nothing, just stared at Lee kneeling before him, his brow on the floor. "Lie down," he said.

Lee lifted his head, his brow furrowed with confusion. "Gai-sensei?"

"You heard me. On the bed."

Lee scrambled onto the bed and lay down on his back.

Gai reached into the pouch at his hip and pulled out a length of rope. Lee lifted his head, and his eyes widened. "What…"

"You seem incapable of staying in bed, even when your health depends on it, so you leave me no choice."

Lee's cheeks flushed, and his eyes grew wider. "Y-you are going to tie me up?" His voice emerged as a shocked squeak.

"That's right. This is special rope designed to restrain ninjas, so don't think you can break free."

"B-but…"

"No buts. I'm your sensei, and you are my subordinate. You seem to have forgotten what that means, so I'm going to remind you. With as much force as it takes."

Lee gulped. He looked so stricken that Gai couldn't maintain his cold façade any longer. He let his expression soften and said quietly, "I'm doing this because I care about you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please understand that."

The fear faded from Lee's expression. "Gai-sensei…" His voice trembled, and tears welled in his eyes again. This time, however, the look in those eyes was not shame, but relief. "I understand."

Gai pulled up a chair, sat next to the bed and considered how best to do this. He'd tied up enemies before, but in those situations, comfort wasn't really a consideration—and he wanted Lee to be comfortable. As much as possible, anyway. After a moment, he got to work, starting with Lee's feet. Using short pieces of rope, he bound Lee's ankles together, then his knees. He tied the knots as securely as possible without making the ropes too tight. He didn't want to cut off Lee's circulation.

"Gai-sensei?" Lee said quietly.

"Yes, Lee?"

"Could I have a blanket?"

"Of course." Gai pulled a quilt over Lee, up to his chest. He studied his student's face, noticing the slight flush in his cheeks, the sheen of sweat on his brow. "Are you all right? I didn't tie it too tight, did I?"

"No." He smiled weakly. "Though even if you had, I could not really complain. This _is _my punishment, is it not?"

"Even so, it's not my intention to cause you pain." He knew he was being soft on Lee again, but he didn't care. Gai paused, trying to decide what to do with Lee's arms. He could just wrap a rope around Lee's upper body and bind them to his sides…but that would use a lot of rope, and probably wouldn't be comfortable. But maybe…yes, that would work.

Gai tied one end of a short rope around Lee's right hand, then tied the rope's other end to the bedpost. He did the same to Lee's left hand, tightening the knots until he was sure Lee couldn't slip free. Then he stood and crossed his arms over his chest, studying his handiwork. Lee had a few inches of slack on each hand, enough that he could move a little, but not enough for him to free himself. "There. That should do it."

"May I ask how long I must stay like this?"

"I haven't decided yet. For the rest of the night, at least."

"What if I have to use the bathroom? Or…do I just have to hold it?"

Gai flushed. "No, no. Of course not." In truth, he hadn't thought about that particular detail. "If you have to, then I'll untie you and then tie you up again afterward. I'll leave the bell close to your hand so you can ring it if you need me. And if all else fails, you can just call my name. I won't be far away."

"Thank you." Lee's cheeks were still flushed. Gai supposed this must be embarrassing for him. "I am helpless like this," Lee murmured. "Am I not? I mean…if someone attacked me, I would not be able to defend myself."

"I won't let any harm come to you."

"I know," Lee said. "I trust you."

Gai smiled. "You're sure it's not too tight, now?" He squeezed Lee's fingers. "Can you feel this?"

"Yes. It is fine."

"Good. I'm going to make some dinner, then. I'll be right back."

* * *

Gai made soup and fed it to Lee, spoon by spoon, since Lee couldn't use his hands. Then he retired to his own room, leaving the bell on the nightstand, close enough that Lee could reach it even with his hands bound.

After he left, Lee lay in bed, gazing at the ceiling. He pulled at the bindings, but the knots held. He hadn't really expected them to come undone.

Normally he hated being helpless or immobile, but somehow this was different. Gai's words—_I'm doing this because I care about you—_resonated in his mind. He felt the strength of Gai's love for him in those knots. And because training was not an option right now—because the choice had been taken from him—the burning drive to push himself, which had been his constant companion since age six, had temporarily faded, allowing his body's exhaustion to finally take over. A pleasant drowsiness crept over him.

He rarely experienced this feeling—this calm, fuzzy relaxation. Sleep was different. Sleep was productive work, designed to restore his body and mind. But he wasn't doing anything productive right now, and he found that—for once—he was okay with that. He wondered if this was how Shikamaru felt all the time. His eyes slipped shut.

He dozed for awhile. Sometime during the night, he woke with his bladder full and aching and tried to sit up, but the ropes held him. Lee bit his lower lip. He didn't want to disturb Gai's sleep. Maybe he could just hold it until morning. After a few minutes, though, it became apparent that he'd never endure that long. He rang the bell.

Gai was there within ten seconds, clad in striped pajamas and rubbing sleep from his eyes. He undid the knots and helped Lee out of bed.

Lee returned from the bathroom a minute later and climbed back into bed. He stretched his arms out over his head and waited for Gai to bind his wrists again. When Gai didn't move, he said, "Gai-sensei? I am ready."

Gai hesitated. With his hair bed-mussed and his eyes drowsy, he looked oddly vulnerable. "Perhaps I was a bit hard on you," he murmured. "To be honest, I've been lying awake, thinking about it, and I'm not sure I dealt with this in the best way."

"No, Gai-sensei. I have been thinking about it too, and you were right. I disregarded your orders, and that is a very bad thing. If we were on a mission, ignoring your orders might compromise the safety of the entire team."

"Yes, but…we're not on a mission."

"Even so, I know you would not give me an order unless it was important. This is a fair punishment."

"You don't find it embarrassing?"

"No, not at all. It is almost like training of a different sort. Or meditation. Since I cannot move around, I have to find ways to quiet my mind."

"I see." Gai nodded. "The spirit of youth is restless. Sometimes it burns too brightly, and the body suffers."

"That is right, Gai-sensei. But when my body is made to be still, my spirit is calm. Please bind me."

"All right." He bound Lee's ankles and knees, tied his wrists to the bedposts and tightened the knots until he was sure Lee couldn't slip free. "Do you want blankets?"

"Yes, please."

Gai pulled the quilt over Lee, then retrieved the thermometer from the bathroom and checked his temperature. "One hundred degrees. It's gone down since yesterday, but you're still feverish."

"Do you think I can train tomorrow?"

"We'll see how you're feeling in the morning." Gai gazed down at him for another moment, an unreadable look in his eyes. Then he lay a hand on Lee's head and gently ruffled his hair. Lee lay still, savoring the touch. A warm, sleepy feeling crept over him as those strong fingers rubbed his head, and he let his eyelids drift shut.

"Good night, Lee."

"Good night, Gai-sensei." Lee did not fall asleep immediately, but he let his breathing grow soft and even, let his muscles relax. Gai remained near his side; Lee could feel his closeness, hear his breathing.

Lee lay motionless for several minutes. He moved his eyes a little beneath the lids to make it look like he was dreaming—even manufactured a small snore. A moment later, Gai did the thing he only did when he thought his student was asleep; he leaned down and kissed Lee's forehead. "Sweet dreams," he whispered.

A moment later, Lee drifted off.

* * *

Lee woke to the touch of sunlight on his face. He'd slept peacefully, and aside from a scratchy throat and a slight headache, he felt almost normal. He stretched—as best he could in his restraints—and noticed the quilt had fallen off the bed. He must have kicked it off in his sleep. Lee yawned, looked up…and gave a start.

A boy his own age stared back at him through the window: a boy with shaggy brown hair, sharp teeth and a red stripe painted on each cheek. A tiny white dog lay draped over his head like a strange hat. It took Lee a moment to recognize him. "Kiba-kun, what are you doing here? You should not look into other people's windows. It is rude."

He shrugged. "I was roof-hopping and I noticed you tied up like a centerfold in an S&M mag. Seemed a little too weird to just ignore." The white dog barked, as if in agreement.

Lee's brow furrowed in puzzlement. S&M? What was that? "Well, I am fine."

"You're not being kidnapped?"

"No. I live here."

"So, what, you just like to sleep tied up?"

"I am training."

"Training?"

"Yes. I do not know how to rest, even when I need to, so I am tied to the bed to learn stillness and calm. It is my penance for working too hard."

"Okaaaay. Returning to reality now. I guess if you're okay with this…whatever's going on here, there's no cause for alarm, so I'm just going to be on my way." Just then, the little white dog jumped in through the half-open window and ran over to Lee's bed. "Oi, Akamaru!" Kiba shouted.

Akamaru leaped onto the bed and sniffed Lee's face, then his crotch. Lee flushed. "Hey! What—"

Akamaru ran back to the window, leaped into Kiba's arms, and uttered three barks followed by a low, whining growl. "Oh," said Kiba, "really? Okay, then."

Lee blinked. "Did he just tell you something?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. See ya!" Kiba bounded away, Akamaru close behind.

Lee stared out the window, turning Kiba's words over in his mind. What had he meant, "a centerfold in an S&M mag?"

Lee made a mental note to ask Gai-sensei about that later.

-To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I changed the rating to M, just to be on the safe side. There will be no sex in this story, but still, it deals with some mature themes. So proceed with caution.

* * *

Later that morning, Gai checked Lee's temperature and remarked, "Your fever's almost gone. I think you can start training again today. Just don't push yourself too hard."

"Yes, Sensei."

Gai straightened and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was rather hard on you last night. I regret some of the things I said. I may be your sensei, but you're much more than a subordinate to me."

"I understand. I am not upset. Sometimes when you care about someone, you have to be tough with them. Right?"

Gai smiled. "You're very mature for one so young, you know. I've known you for almost a year, and you still find ways to surprise me."

Lee smiled, his cheeks growing warm in a pleased blush. Then he cleared his throat. "Um…Gai-sensei…"

"Yes?"

"Will you untie me? I need to use the bathroom."

"Oh. Of course." Gai undid the knots. "You can stay untied this time. I think you've learned your lesson. Just remember…" He looked Lee in the eye and pointed at him, his finger almost touching the tip of Lee's nose. Lee's eyes crossed, trying to keep it in focus. "If you disobey my orders again—particularly where your health and safety is concerned—you'll be spending another day tied up. Understand?"

Lee saluted. "Yes, Gai-sensei!"

Gai's stern expression softened into a smile. "Let's have some breakfast."

As they ate, it occurred to Lee that he'd forgotten to ask that question. Oh well. There would be time later.

* * *

Lee whooped and did a cartwheel. He'd just split a boulder in half with a well-placed kick and was doing one of his peculiar little victory-dances, staggering around in circles, jumping up and down and generally acting like a hyperactive puppy.

"He's in rare form today," muttered Neji.

Tenten smiled. "Well, he's been stuck in bed for the past three days. He's got lots of pent up energy."

"I did it! I did it!" shouted Lee. "Gai-sensei, did you see that?"

Gai boomed out laughter, swept Lee up in his arms and spun him around in a circle. "Yes, I certainly did! Your efforts have paid off."

"Give me an even harder task to perform! I am brimming with youth! There is no limit to what I can do! Are you proud of me, Sensei?"

"My dear student, I grow more proud of you with each passing day."

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"They're stuck in a loop again," said Neji. "We'd better reboot them."

Tenten walked up and tapped Gai on the shoulder. "Shouldn't we continue our practice?"

"Eh? Ah, of course! Now, pay attention…"

* * *

Lee hummed happily as he and Gai walked back through the village. Soft evening shadows filled the streets, and his body burned with the deep, pleasurable ache of exhaustion. After three days of being cooped up in the apartment, it had felt so good to use his muscles again.

Gai stopped at a shop and bought dango for both of them. He handed one stick to Lee, who beamed and thanked him. As they walked and ate, Lee found himself recalling his conversation with Kiba, turning the words over in his mind. "Gai-sensei, what does S&M stand for?"

Gai nearly choked on a mouthful of dango. He pounded his chest with one fist, coughed, swallowed, and said, "Where did you hear that?"

"Kiba-kun. This morning I was talking to him through the window. When he saw me tied to the bed he said I looked like…what were his words? 'A centerfold in an S&M mag.'"

"Good heavens," muttered Gai, "children these days. How would he even know…" He looked at Lee, who was still peering at him quizzically, and Gai's cheeks flushed. "Never mind that, Lee. That's not the sort of thing you should be filling your youthful mind with."

Lee nodded, but Gai's reaction had only piqued his curiosity. As he finished off his dango, Lee watched Gai from the corner of his eye. A troubled expression lay over his sensei's face like a shadow. His frown deepened for a moment, and he murmured something under his breath, shaking his head.

"Gai-sensei, what is wrong?" Lee asked. "Did I upset you?"

"No, Lee." Gai looked at him and gave him a strained smile. "Don't worry about it. Just…" He paused. "You being tied to the bed had nothing to do with that. That's all you need to know."

* * *

The next morning, Lee met his teammates for training in their usual field, just outside the borders of Konoha. After going through their warm up exercises, Gai instructed Lee and Neji to practice walking on water while he went over weapons-throwing techniques with Tenten.

Gai spent three hours with Tenten, and Lee's frustration grew as he walked across the pond for the hundredth time. He wanted Gai-sensei to look at him. "Gai-sensei!" he called.

Gai paused and looked over at Lee.

"Watch this!" He did a handstand on the water and tucked his right arm behind his back, balancing on his left hand…then promptly lost his focus and dropped into the pond with a splash. Dripping and sputtering, he crawled onto the pond's banks. His cheeks burned with embarrassment as he stood and wrung out his sopping wet shirt.

Gai smiled and waved in his direction. "Keep working at it, Lee. You'll get it right." Then he turned away to face Tenten.

Lee's cheeks burned hotter. "I will do it right this time, I swear!" He walked onto the water's surface again and waited for Gai to turn, but Gai remained focused on Tenten. He demonstrated a throwing technique with one arm. She said something, and Gai laughed, nodded and clapped her on the shoulder.

Neji walked across the pond toward Lee. "Stop pouting. Gai-sensei can't pay attention to you all the time, you know."

Lee's cheeks flushed hotter, and he pulled in his lower lip. "I am not pouting." He did another handstand and walked across the pond, away from Neji. When he balanced on one hand again, he remained upright on the water's surface. His arm quivered, tense, as he held the position for a full five minutes…but somehow, it wasn't as satisfying when Gai wasn't watching him. He stood upright again and sighed.

"You should be careful," Neji remarked quietly.

Lee looked at him, puzzled. "It is only a little pond. It is not dangerous."

"I mean with him." He glanced in Gai's direction.

Lee tensed and looked at Gai. His sensei's back was still turned to them, and he was speaking to Tenten, oblivious to their conversation. Lee clenched his fists and turned his gaze back to Neji. "Gai-sensei would never hurt me."

"That's not what I'm talking about," he said. "I'm saying be careful about your own feelings."

Lee's chest tightened. "I—I do not know what you mean."

"He's your sensei and your role model. All right, fine. But now he's become your guardian and your best friend as well. You're always with him. I can't remember the last time I've actually seen one of you without the other."

Lee bit his lower lip. "I like being with him. What is wrong with that?"

"There's such a thing as loving someone too much."

"Love cannot be wrong," Lee said firmly.

"Of course it can," Neji replied. "It's an emotion. Nothing more and nothing less."

Lee crossed his arms over his chest. "I do not see what your problem with us is. Why can I not enjoy spending time with my sensei? Why can he not be my friend, too?"

Neji sighed. "Forget it."

They practiced in silence for a few minutes. Then, on impulse, Lee asked, "Neji, do you know anything about S&M?"

Neji fell through the water with a splash. Sputtering, he climbed back onto the pond's surface and glared at Lee. _"What?"_

"I am just asking if you know what S&M is. I heard someone mention it recently."

Neji silently activated his Byakugan and stared at Lee. Lee stared back. A moment later, the raised veins around Neji's eyes vanished back into his skin, and he said flatly, "I don't know." Then he climbed onto the pond's banks and wrung out his sopping wet hair.

"But you…"

"Let's just train."

* * *

Over the next few days, Gai remained oddly distant. On the surface, everything was the same…but when he smiled at Lee, there was a certain vagueness in his eyes. And he rarely hugged Lee or touched him at all except to give him the occasional, brief clap on the shoulder.

It had started right after that conversation. And Lee _still _hadn't found out what S&M was.

Then Gai-sensei received a solo mission which would keep him away from Konoha for a few days. Lee spent the day training alone, thinking about his sensei and missing him fiercely, even though he'd just left. That evening, as he walked home from the training field, he spotted Kiba walking down the street and waved to him. Kiba paused and turned to face Lee. His dog, Akamaru, was perched atop his head as usual. Lee hurried over. "Hello, Kiba-kun."

"Hi...Lee, is it? Didn't I talk to you the other day?"

"Yes. I was tied to the bed."

"Oh. Right."

"I am sorry to trouble you, but I wanted to ask you about something."

Kiba shrugged. "I'm not doing anything."

Lee cleared his throat. "When we spoke that time, you mentioned S&M."

Slit-pupilled eyes narrowed slightly. "Yeah?"

"Well, I want you to know that me being tied to the bed had nothing to do with all that." Gai had been adamant about that point. "That was just part of my training."

"Whatever you say, man."

"But even so, I…" Lee hesitated, reluctant to admit that he didn't actually know what it was. What if it was something well-known? He'd look like a fool. So instead, he said, "I thought perhaps you could teach me more about it. S&M. I am curious."

Kiba's mouth opened, and his eyebrows shot up. "You're curious," he repeated.

"Yes. Is there something strange about that?"

Kiba blinked a few times. Then he burst out laughing. "Wow. I never pegged you for the type. That's…wow." He grinned and stuck his hands in his jacket pockets. "Well, in that case, I've got some videos back at my place. If you want, I can lend you one."

"All right," Lee said, puzzled. "Thank you."

They walked back toward Kiba's house, Akamaru riding on Kiba's head. He glanced over at Lee and smiled—not his typical smirk, but an uncertain, almost shy expression. It looked strange on his usually carefree face. "I have to admit, I'm kind of relieved to find another guy my age who's into this stuff. I don't feel like quite such a weirdo now. So, are you an S or an M?"

"I do not really know."

"Still figuring things out, huh? I kinda lean both ways myself." He stopped in front of his house. "Wait here." He set Akamaru on the ground, climbed up the tree in the side yard and hopped through an open window on the second story…then jumped back out, scurried down the tree and handed an unmarked videotape to Lee. "Here you go," he said.

He thought about asking Kiba what was on the tape, then decided to just wait and watch it himself. Lee tended to learn through example rather than explanation, anyway. "Thank you."

"No problem." Kiba hesitated. "Um, before I give you this, I should probably ask…how do you feel about waterplay?"

Waterplay? Lee blinked. Well, he'd gone swimming before. "It is okay. I mean, I do not mind it, but I suppose there are other things I enjoy more."

"Oh." Kiba cleared his throat and glanced down at Akamaru, who was ignoring their conversation in favor of sniffing Lee's foot. "Well, as long as it doesn't bother you…" He shrugged.

Lee nodded as if he understood. This was one of the most mystifying conversations he'd ever had, and everything Kiba said just confused him more. Still, he had the sense that if he revealed his own ignorance on the subject, Kiba might just refuse to talk about it and shut down, as Gai and Neji had done. He might even take the tape back. For some reason this seemed to be a delicate subject...but that made Lee all the more determined to find out what it meant.

Kiba rubbed the back of his neck. "I should warn you, this _is_ pretty hardcore stuff."

"Hardcore?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's kind of violent."

Violent. So something to do with fighting then? "I would not be much of a ninja if I could not handle violence."

"Well, that's true. You sure about this now?"

"Of course," Lee said. It was only a videotape, after all. What could be so bad?

"All right, then. No rush to return it, I've got others." That odd, shy smile returned, showing one sharp canine tooth. "Hey, maybe sometime we could…" He trailed off, and Lee waited. After a moment, Kiba just shook his head and said, "Never mind."

"Okay. Well…I guess I will go home now, then."

"Okay. See you."

Lee walked homeward, tape in hand. This was all very strange.

-To be continued


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This chapter's content could potentially offend some people. Though considering the way the last chapter ended, that's probably self-evident.

* * *

Later, alone in his room, Lee slid the tape into his VCR. He sat on his bed, legs folded in front of him, and stared raptly at the screen as a grainy picture formed.

The movie looked as though it had been filmed in someone's basement with a home video-camera. As Lee realized what he was seeing, a flush crept into his cheeks. A lean, brown-haired man knelt on a cement floor, his bare back exposed, his arms stretched over his head, his wrists shackled to the wall. He was naked, wearing only a mask like the ones Anbu members wore. Heavy, muffled breathing emanated from behind the painted cat-like mask as he looked over one shoulder.

Another man approached, masked and clad only in tight leather pants; a dark-haired, muscular man. He looked a little bit like Gai-sensei, though not quite as tall.

Lee's heartbeat quickened, and he shifted uneasily, his face growing hotter. He was glad Gai was not here today. Lee wasn't sure he'd want his teacher to walk in on this. It would be awkward, trying to explain why he was watching a video about two men in masks, with one of them naked and chained to the wall…particularly since Lee himself didn't know what was going on. This was S&M?

The dark-haired man raised one arm, and Lee noticed the whip in his hand: a long, black strip of leather with three tiny metal balls attached to the end.

"Do it," the bound man said in a hoarse voice.

"Quiet, you little bitch," said the other man.

As the whip cracked down, Lee decided that the dark-haired man didn't really look much like Gai-sensei, after all. His hair was longer, and he wasn't quite as muscular.

The whipping went on for awhile, with the bound man writhing and moaning the whole time, sometimes rubbing against the wall. The whip left glaring, angry red weals. Then two more men came in, both in masks and wearing strange leather outfits with spikes. One dropped his pants. Yellow liquid splashed onto the bound man, who whimpered and panted and growled like an animal. A cold, sick feeling crept through Lee's stomach, but he couldn't look away. The dim, grainy image held his gaze. He hugged his knees to his chest as the whip cracked down again and the bound man moaned—in pleasure or pain, it was difficult to say.

What struck Lee most was the _coldness _of the whole thing. Except for that brief exchange at the beginning, none of the participants spoke. There was no tenderness, no affection in this game—if indeed, that's what it was.

Then the dark-haired man--who, Lee had now decided, looked absolutely nothing like Gai-sensei--urinated into a glass, and Lee couldn't watch anymore. With a trembling hand, he reached out and shut off the TV.

For almost an hour, he sat on his bed, hugging his knees, staring into space and feeling strangely numb. Then he got out of bed. He would train for awhile, he thought. Training would help. Somehow.

* * *

Gai returned to Konoha a day earlier than he'd expected to. He walked back to his apartment, humming, eager to see Lee again.

He expected Lee to greet him with surprised delight, but throughout the evening, Lee was strangely distant and quiet. As they ate dinner together at the table, he answered Gai's questions in monosyllables, never quite meeting his sensei's eyes.

Gai picked up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and paused, studying Lee's face. "Is everything all right, Lee?"

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Lee replied flatly.

Gai frowned. "Are you sure? You're not yourself."

"I am tired. That is all." He looked down at his half-finished plate, then said, "I might go to bed early tonight, if that is all right."

Gai frowned and nodded. Maybe Lee just wasn't feeling well. Maybe he was fighting another flu…or maybe he hadn't quite recovered from the first one. He watched as Lee scraped his leftovers into a container, put it in the refrigerator, and walked to his bedroom.

* * *

Over the next few days, Lee found that he still couldn't look at his teacher. Whenever he did, his chest and face burned with shame. He didn't understand exactly why he was ashamed, but the feeling followed him like a shadow everywhere he went.

It had been several days since he'd borrowed that tape, but he still hadn't returned it. He wanted to get rid of it, but he couldn't bring himself to touch it; it was still in the VCR. He didn't know how he'd face Kiba again. If he returned the tape, Kiba would probably ask what he'd thought of it…and then Lee would have to either lie or tell him the truth, and he wasn't sure which would be harder. He didn't know what to do. He felt as if he'd done something wrong, something terrible, though he wasn't sure exactly what…and having Gai-sensei nearby made everything worse. He tried not to worry his teacher—tried to smile and pretend everything was normal—but nothing felt normal anymore.

If not for that night—the night Gai-sensei had tied him to the bed as a punishment—Lee might not have been so disturbed. The tape would still have bothered him, but he could have pushed it aside: mentally cataloged and filed it as something that had nothing to do with himself. Just crazy people doing crazy things. But for some reason, his mind kept returning to that night. He felt that it had some connection to this, that the tape's contents said something about Lee, about his relationship with his sensei, about the nature of his own heart and desires.

It confused him. More than that, it frightened him. But he couldn't talk to anyone about it. What would he say? How could he possibly explain this to Gai-sensei?

Another day passed; another day of training, of avoiding everyone's eyes, of trying to act like nothing had changed. After Neji and Tenten went home for the day, Lee remained in the training field, punching a log dummy.

He remembered the pressure of ropes around his wrists, the flutter of pleasure in his stomach at the stern yet loving tone of Gai's voice. That feeling of security.

He thought about the man chained to the wall, the crack of the whip biting into his flesh. The whip-wielder's voice echoed in his memory: _Quiet, you little bitch. _There had been no love in that voice.

Lee punched the dummy again and again. A hot, tight feeling spread throughout his chest and into his stomach, and his breathing quickened. A flush burned in his cheeks. Sweat dripped into his eyes, stinging, and he blinked it away. Dimly, he was aware that his hands were bleeding—leaving red splotches on the wooden post—but he didn't stop.

* * *

Gai waited several hours for Lee, but Lee didn't return. Dinner grew cold as Gai paced the kitchen.

Despite Lee's continued assurances that everything was all right, Gai knew something was afoot. Lee always seemed distant and preoccupied these days. But Lee wouldn't tell him anything, and Gai didn't know what to do.

He walked down the hall toward Lee's room and peered in. Lee's bed was neatly made, as usual, his spare jumpsuits all put away in the closet…except the dirty ones, which lay in a hamper next to his bed. Everything looked normal. Then Gai noticed the black videocassette tape sticking out of Lee's VCR.

Despite having a TV in his room, Lee almost never used it, and as far as Gai knew, he'd never bought a videotape; movies had never interested him much. What could this be? Could it have anything to do with the strange way Lee had been acting?

Gai knew he shouldn't pry. This was none of his business. Still…

He stood for a few minutes, staring at the tape. Then he stepped into the room, pushed the tape fully into the VCR slot, and turned it on.

His jaw dropped. He stared, stunned, at the scene before him. After thirty seconds, he jabbed the eject button with one finger, and the VCR spit out the tape.

Gai turned away, his stomach in a knot, wondering what he was supposed to do now. Why would Lee be watching something like this?

Of course, Lee was approaching that part of youth. He was probably starting to think about sex more. Still...Gai had never anticipated finding pornography in his student's room, much less a hardcore S&M video, complete with whipping and...well, he didn't want to think about what else, but he was pretty sure the contents of that glass hadn't been ginger-ale. Gai pressed a hand to his forehead, overwhelmed. Did Lee..._like _this sort of thing? Where had he even found it? This was an unmarked, homemade video; not the sort of thing that a person could just walk into a store and rent.

Gai took a shaky breath and pushed aside his squeamishness. He couldn't just ignore this. As difficult as it would be, he had to talk to Lee.

-To be continued


	5. Chapter 5

It was almost midnight when Lee returned home, and Gai was waiting for him in the living room. Lee entered and froze. When his gaze settled on the unmarked videocassette tape in Gai's hand, he tensed, and his eyes went wide.

"Sit down, Lee," Gai said. He kept his voice calm and steady and his face schooled into a neutral expression.

Lee gulped and sat on the living room couch, his hands gripping his knees. The blood had drained from his face.

Gai faced him and held the tape out. "I found this in your room," he said.

Lee flinched, and his breathing quickened. "Sensei…"

Gai set the tape down between them, on the coffee table. "Where did you get this?" he asked quietly.

Lee bit his lower lip, his gaze downcast. "I borrowed it from someone," he murmured.

"An adult or another child?"

"A boy my age," he replied in a small voice.

Gai wondered who had given this thing to Lee, but decided to leave the question alone for now. He studied Lee's flushed cheeks, then continued, still keeping his voice carefully neutral: "I am not your father, Lee. I know that…so perhaps it isn't my place to say anything about this. I can't rightly tell you what you may or may not watch. But I don't want this in my home. I want you to take it back where it came from. Do you understand?"

Lee gave a tiny nod, his gaze still downcast. His shoulders trembled.

"What's more," Gai continued, "even if I can't forbid you…I don't believe you ought to be watching things like this. Of course, at your age, it's natural to be curious about sex, but even so. There are better ways to learn about it. This…" He paused, thinking about the bleeding whip-cuts on the bound man's back, the other men standing over him, coldly anonymous in their masks…the pain, the humiliation…

Gai's breathing quickened. He took a deep breath, struggling to bring his personal feelings under control. "To be honest, I don't know how to deal with this. I'm shocked, Lee."

Lee's breath caught in his throat. He bit down on his lower lip again, and a bead of blood welled up. A tear slid down his face and dripped to the leg of his jumpsuit. "I did not know what it _was_, Gai-sensei," he said, his voice breaking. Another tear dripped down.

Lee's innocent question—_Gai-sensei, what is S&M?—_echoed in Gai's memory, and understanding dawned. Of course. Of course Lee hadn't known. He'd asked someone else that innocent question, and that someone had given him this tape. And Lee had been exposed to something his young mind was completely unprepared for.

Why hadn't Gai realized that from the beginning? This was why Lee had been so withdrawn and silent for the past few days. And Gai had just made things worse by confronting him and acting as if Lee had committed some crime.

A soft, muffled sob caught his attention, and he looked down to see Lee hunched over, his face hidden in the crook of one arm, crying almost silently. Gai's heart clenched in a spasm. "Lee…"

"I swear I did not know what it was, Gai-sensei," he said, his voice choked. "I am sorry. Please do not be disgusted with me."

Gently, Gai lifted Lee's face and looked into his tear-filled eyes. More tears spilled down his cheeks, and Gai wiped them away. Lee's breath stuttered in his throat. "I'm the one who should be sorry," Gai said. "I handled this all wrong. It's all right, Lee. I'm not disgusted with you."

"Gai-sensei…" Lee hurled himself into Gai's arms and clung to him.

Gai held him, running his fingers through Lee's hair as Lee cried against his shoulder in hoarse, choked sobs. His body shook with the force of those sobs, and Gai's heart ached. He wondered how long Lee had been holding these feelings in. His arms tightened around him. "It's all right," he whispered again.

When Lee had gotten a hold of himself, Gai sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. Lee sat, still wiping his eyes. "Do you want to talk about this?" Gai asked. "About what you saw?"

Lee tensed and looked down. "I do not know," he said quietly.

"It might help if we talked about it. I know this must have been a confusing experience for you."

Lee bit his lower lip. He stared at the floor for a moment, then asked quietly, "Is that really what it is like?"

"No. Sex isn't like that. Or at least, not most of the time. Some people enjoy things like that, so they find other people who enjoy things like that. But sex can be very gentle and tender and loving, as well." He cleared his throat, his cheeks warm. Discussing sex, particularly with Lee, was always a little awkward for him. But this was a conversation they needed to have. "In fact, it can be a wonderful experience, if it's with someone you care about deeply. Someone special."

Lee was silent for a moment, chewing his lower lip, his hands tangled together. Then he spoke, very softly: "You do not think I am a pervert?"

"No," Gai said, surprised. "Of course not. You said yourself, you didn't know what was on that tape."

"But what if…" He hesitated, taking a deep breath. His shoulders trembled. "I…I did not like what was on that tape. I did not like it at all, but…what if there was something else that I _did_ like, something that was _like _that? Does that make me a pervert?"

Gai's brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

Lee's tongue darted out to wet his lips. "I mean…being tied up," he said in a small voice. "Is it possible for someone to just enjoy being tied up? Or punished? I mean...maybe it just makes that person feel safe and loved and it is not even sexual. Do you think that is possible?"

"What are you talking about?" Gai asked, bewildered. And then realization hit him like a bolt of lightning.

Gai had tied Lee up. He'd tied him to the bed. And then Lee had seen…oh God. "Lee, that had nothing to do with this!" he burst out, his face flushed. "I tied you up because I was concerned about you. Because I didn't want you to hurt yourself. I wouldn't—I'd never—you didn't think it was like that, did you?"

"I do not know, Sensei," Lee said quietly. "But…" His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "It made me feel good."

Gai's head spun. It couldn't be what it sounded like. Could it? "What…what do you mean?"

"I do not know," Lee whispered, his gaze downcast. "I just…I liked it. It made me feel like you cared about me. Like you were taking control of me, but in a good way. I do not know how to explain it. But it felt good and then when I saw this, I…" A tremor ran through him. "Is this what I am like, deep down? Is this what I really want? To be used and treated cruelly? I feel so confused, and I just…" He squeezed his eyes shut and hid his face in the crook of one arm.

Gai placed a gentle hand on Lee's back. Everything inside him ached at the sight of Lee's pain. His instincts told him to comfort his student, to ease that pain somehow, but he didn't know what to do, what to say. He didn't understand what was really going on here. He was almost afraid to think too hard about it.

Lee had never had a family. Before Gai, he'd never known the firm, loving hand of well-meant discipline. Perhaps…

The tension eased out of Gai's shoulders. Yes, that was it. Surely.

He placed a finger gently under Lee's chin, lifting his face, and looked into his wet, dark eyes. "You know, when I was a Genin and I fell short of my sensei's expectations, he would punish me severely. But I came to understand that in order to become the sort of ninja I wanted to be, I had to endure hardship. I had to push myself to the limits. He was trying to help me achieve my dream. He knew, as I do, that the path to greatness is difficult and thorny. So I endured the pain cheerfully and came to see it as a test of my strength, a chance to prove myself. And a sign of how much my sensei believed in me." He wiped another tear from Lee's cheek. "That's all it is, Lee. You understand the necessity of discipline. There is nothing perverted about it," he said firmly—as much to himself as to Lee. "You saw that video, and it confused you. But it's not the same sort of thing."

"It is not?" Lee asked softly.

"No. I'm sorry if I—if I gave you the wrong idea. When I tied you up. Even if it wasn't like that…I shouldn't have done it."

"Do not apologize, Gai-sensei. You were trying to help me. I just got a little confused."

"Confusion is part of youth." He smiled. "When I was your age I was confused all the time, about practically everything."

"And now?"

He considered for a moment. "I'm a little less confused. But there are still many things I don't understand, if you want to know the truth."

Lee's eyes widened. "But you are so wise."

"Am I?"

Lee nodded, his expression serious. "When I have a question, you always know the answer. You are the wisest man I have ever met."

"Well...part of being wise is realizing how little you know." He chuckled. "Back at the Academy, a teacher once told me that my head was so empty, it was a wonder it didn't cave in. And I told him that an empty head can better hold a beautiful dream. There are things more important than knowledge. A good heart, a fiery spirit, and the will to keep trying--these are the things that matter."

"Then I will keep trying, Gai-sensei."

He ruffled Lee's dark hair. "I'm very proud of you. You know that. Don't you?"

Lee's breath caught in his throat, and his eyes closed for a moment. "Thank you." He wiped one sleeve across his wet eyes and smiled. It wasn't his usual bright beam; it was a shy, closed-lipped smile. But it was genuine. "Talking to you always helps."

"I'm glad. Helping you is what I'm here for."

Lee paused, looking uncertainly up at Gai through his lashes. "Sensei? Who _is _your sensei?"

"Was. He was my father."

Lee's brow furrowed. "Then why do you call him 'your sensei' and not 'your father ?'" Something about the look on Gai's face must have unnerved him. Lee's eyes widened, and he bowed his head. "Forgive me. That is none of my business, and I should not have asked."

"No. It's all right." Gai forced a smile. "Why don't you get some sleep, Lee? It's getting late."

"Yes, Sensei." He retreated to his room, and the door closed.

Gai sat on the couch, staring at the tape on the coffee table.

For a moment he remembered the harsh scrape of ropes against his wrists, the burn in his muscles as the restraints stretched his arms upward, the sharp bite of a whip into his back, and a deep, rough voice telling him that he was still too weak.

_Six lashes for failing the test, _the voice rasped in his memory_. Four more for your tears. A man should shed blood before shedding tears._

Gai picked up the tape, and his fingers tightened on the black plastic casing. He wanted to crush it, to break it apart. Instead, he set it down and looked away.

He would never tie Lee up again.

* * *

The next day, Lee went to Kiba's home and knocked on the door. Kiba answered, and Lee held out the tape. "I came to return this."

"Thanks." Kiba smiled with one side of his mouth, looking a little uncertain. "So, uh, what'd you think?"

"Well…" Lee paused. "When I first borrowed this from you, I did not actually know what S&M was."

His jaw dropped. "Seriously? Then why…"

"I thought if I just asked you what it was, you might not tell me, since no one seemed to want to talk about it. So I thought I would just watch the tape. To be honest, it confused and scared me a bit."

"Oh. Shit." He rubbed the back of his neck as his face slowly turned red. "Fuck. I'm sorry."

"No, I am the one who should be sorry." Lee smiled. "I should have just been honest and admitted I did not know what it was. It is my own fault. Thank you for lending it to me, anyway."

"Um, no problem." Kiba took the tape and cleared his throat. "I feel really weird about this. I mean, I just kind of thought, you know, that you were into it. But if you're not…" He smiled uncertainly. "Shit, you must think I'm a freak. Don't tell anyone about this. Okay?"

"I will not. And I do not think you are a freak. But..." Lee's fists clenched, and he took a deep breath, lifting his chin. "But it does not have to be like that. It does not have to be cold and demeaning. It does not have to be all about sex either. When someone ties you up, it should be about love. Because love is the most important thing, and the heart that loves is forever youthful."

"Huh?"

"Goodbye!"

Kiba was still scratching his head as Lee turned and ran back in the direction of home.

* * *

Lee stirred the curry simmering in the pan. He tasted a little and smiled. Spicy, just how Gai-sensei liked it. He ladled the curry onto two plates, set the table, and called, "Gai-sensei, dinner is ready!"

Gai entered the room, stretching, and breathed in deeply. "That smells delicious." He glanced at the table. "But I feel a little guilty. You always do the cooking. Why don't you let me make dinner for you tomorrow?"

For a moment, Lee looked almost alarmed. Then he shook his head vigorously. "That is all right, Gai-sensei. I _like _cooking for you. Doing things for you makes me very happy."

Gai smiled, his gaze softening. "You're such a wonder."

Lee looked up at him. A spectrum of emotions flickered through his eyes…then he tackled Gai in a hug, arms wrapped tight around his waist, face pressed against his chest. Gai stumbled backward with an "oof!" He stared down at the top of Lee's head in surprise—then hugged him back. After a moment, he started to loosen his grip, but Lee's arms tightened around him, holding him firmly. His face remained hidden against Gai's chest. "Is anything wrong, Lee?" Gai asked quietly.

"No, Gai-sensei. I just need to hold you." A pause. "Do you think that is strange?"

"No." He lay a hand on Lee's shiny black bowl-cut. "It's not strange."

For a long moment, Lee just clung to him, and Gai realized—to his surprise—that he was trembling. "Lee?" he whispered. "What is it? Please tell me."

Another moment of silence. Then, very softly: "I was wondering...is it possible to love someone too much, Sensei?"

Gai's eyes widened. For a moment, he didn't speak. He didn't know what to say. "What makes you ask that now?"

"It is nothing. I just wondered."

"Lee…" He trailed off. He fumbled for something, anything to say. But no answers came. _Was _it possible to love someone too much? If he said yes, then what? If he said no, then what? And that word, love, could mean different things. Did such a question even have a correct answer? His instinct was to answer that love was a force of good and therefore, there could never be too much of it. But even if that was true, there were other truths stuck through that one, like knitting needles stuck through a ball of yarn. So he said nothing.

He didn't want to pull away from Lee, not now, when he seemed to need holding. And Lee didn't pull away, either. So they remained standing there in the kitchen, their arms around each other. Gai realized that his own heart was beating fast and that he was afraid--though why, and of what, he didn't know. He should say something, he thought. "Lee, I..."

"It is okay," Lee whispered. "You do not have to say anything."

And so he didn't.

They held each other until dinner was cold.

-The End


End file.
